hubby

IMG_0903
Originally uploaded by motheringmymiraclemultiples

hubby

IMG_0903
Originally uploaded by motheringmymiraclemultiples

Moving

Finally fed up with blogger.

I have moved to http://motheringmymiraclemultiples.wordpress.com/.

Be sure to update your bookmarks :0)

Not so bad....Tales from the EA...

Well, I survived the Endometrial Ablation.

I ended up getting call back from the ob/gyn office and was told that I could double up on the "sedative". So I did. Hubby came home form work and drove me to the office. When I arrived, I was told that they were also going to administer some pain medication (IM of course...ahh, I don't miss the days of the old HCG trigger shot) which I am pretty sure was toradol (sp) or something like that. I waited ten minutes and was taken back to one of the rooms. I had been in the room before...when I had my first ultrasound with the twins.

I was smart. I brought my ipod. I had some very nice relaxation music that I use to fall asleep sometimes. I set up the old ipod to repeat the same song over and over and thought I was set.

So, Dr. H comes in. Now don't get me wrong, I love this guy. Heck, he delivered my babies...... He does a "quick" check to make sure that everything looked okay. No biggie. Then, he applies a topical anesthetic on to my cervix. Again, no biggie. La la la la. Then, he decides that he will turn on the TV. No, not to watch tv, but to play a "Friends" DVD. Yeah....really friggin' relaxing. He told me that it was supposed to be background noise. Gee Doc, what kind of noises are you trying to cover. He sees me there on the table with my ear buds in, trying to relax and he decides he's in the mood for a sitcom. NICE!

So he is tinkering, and tinkering. Then he announces that I might feel a pinch. Well, he injected some kind of numbing agent into the old cervix. Well, much to my surprise...my entire mouth goes numb. Yeah. I wasn't aware that there was a nerve that ran from my cervix to my mouth. Interesting.

Now, at this point, I am pretty high between the sedative and the pain killer. I am just kicked back watching all the pretty colors through my eyelids. He is turning the lights on then he turns them off, then back on again. I keep hearing things being unwrapped. Lots of things. I didn't think so much "stuff" could fit in there. And in the background, Joey Tribiani and Phoebe. God, just turn the damn TV off. It is killing my buzz. If Dr. H started to laugh I am not sure what I would have done.

The machine is talking. It is telling him exactly what to do. I feel some pretty severe cramping and try to (Lamaze) breathe my way through it. He tells me that I am halfway done. Then I hear the machine announce that the "probe temperature is minus 175 degrees". Yowza....that seems cold, especially to be in my 98.6 degree body. I decide that Dr. H. knows what he is doing and yet the machine has no reason to lie.

I start to feel more cramping and realize that the pain killer is wearing off. Yuck.

The next thing you know, I'm done. Dr. H asks if I need a hand getting up. Ummmm, yeah, that would be nice. He helps me up and then goes looking through the drawers for a pad, which he leaves for me.

I get up, slowly, and get myself dressed. I walk myself out to the waiting room and call the hubby to pick me up.

When I get home I am really, really crampy. Like the worst menstrual cramp crossed with a stomach flu cramp and some labor pains sprinkled on top for good measure. I take some Tylenol...(yeah, that will work) and go up to bed.

One of my girlfriends, Angie, stopped over with her son (Melissa's boyfriend, Colin) and gives hubby a break for a few minutes. So, I stumble down the stairs to say hello. Then go back up to bed. A few hours later, my friends Keith and Joann come over to give hubby another break. I again, stumble down the stairs to say hello. I just want to know where all my friends are when I need "a break". Oh yeah, that's right...they work during the day.

I self medicated to get to sleep and woke up about 7 on Saturday morning. By noon or so, I was starting to feel like normal. Still some cramps, but nothing that I couldn't handle. Oh, and NO BLEEDING. Did I mention that............NO BLEEDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yee Haaa!

By Sunday, I was back and feeling good. Some other friends (Craig, Brenda, Hannah and Heather) stopped over to check up on me and couldn't believe how well I was getting around. Having twins doesn't exactly afford me the opportunity to be down for long.

So, here it is, Monday morning. The kids are up, dressed, fed and changed....(thank you Daniel for pooping everywhere). I must straighted up as Mom and Dad and Grandma will be here this afternoon.

In short, not so bad. HSG and hysteroscopies and laproscopies must have toughened me up.

EA Day

So, today is the Endometrial Ablation. I am a little nervous. I walked the kids down to the local pharmacy to pick up the Rx for my "sedative" yesterday and after work last night, I took one just to see what the effect would be. It did NOTHING. Now I am really concerned. As soon as the office opens I am calling to find out if we should double up on the pills or if he wants to call in another Rx. I have this strange tolerance to pain medications. After the kids were born, they wanted to give me percocet and motrin. They may as well have given me pez and chewing gum. needless to say, I ended up with Dilauded...which seems to be the only pain medication that works for me. I didn't realize that my strange tolerance spilled over into sedatives too. I just don't really want to feel everything this afternoon.

I have just left a message on their machine. I hope they call me back soon.

Hopefully, I will feel up to blogging later and let everyone know how the procedure went.

So Much Going On

This just seems like a crazy time in our little corner of the world.

We had a bunch of friends over this past weekend and somehow, my most prized material possession got dropped. Yes, my new Canon G9 digital camera that I LOVE is in the repair shop to the tune of $200 to hopefully repair. Luckily, my next door neighbor had a spare digital camera so at least I can still take pictures of the kids. My camera may take 4-6 weeks to finally be repaired. I am very upset as the camera was more than $500 and it is only a few months old. I think I need to get a more careful bunch of friends.

All systems are go for my endometrial cryoablation. Dean is taking a half day and will stay with kids while I am having the "procedure" done in the office. Luckily, my OB/GYN's office is literally around the corner from our house, so hopefully getting home will not be a challenge. I am just hoping that it won't be too terribly painful. If it is, I do still have some left over pain meds from the c-section and I am not afraid to take them.... No pain, No pain is what I always say.

On a very personal note, I am kind of sad. The "procedure" means that there will not be any more kids. I know that I should be satisfied with my beautiful babies, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I am terrified that something will happen to them and I will be all alone. We fought so hard to get them here and now, here I am, voluntarily having a surgery that will all but make it impossible to ever have any more children, ever. But then I think that as long as these beautiful babies have been here, I have been miserable with the bleeding. I haven't been able to be a good wife (if you catch my drift...wink wink) and I know that I have been a total b*tch to just about everyone, let alone being exhausted and anemic ALL THE TIME. I know that ultimately, I am making the right decision.

Dean and I are continuing our search for the adoptive parents for the embryos. I really feel for all of the families. They all seem wonderful and I know they would love any children that were to become from these embies. I just feel that it would only be fair to select the couple with no children. There are several that already have children, one family with 6 kids (all through adoption). I know what I felt when we were TTC and I would see a family with a gaggle of kids. "I just want one. I'm not being greedy. I just want one baby to love". And we were blessed. We were given two. I would like to make our final decision sometime in the next month. We shall see.

The kids are doing great. We are doing a lot more tummy time and trying to encourage them to crawl. Most of the time, Daniel decided to just roll around but we are being patient. They were spending a lot of time in the exersaucer and the jolly jumper and their legs are super strong. They will stand (with one of us holding them around the waist) and bounce around. And they are both babbling non stop. It is too cute.

They have a pediatrician appointment next week so I can finally get an accurate weight on the boy. He is huge! They are fed the same amount at the same time and he is just so much heavier than Melissa. He is a tank!!! (Just like his Mommy was when she was little).

I love the encouraging comments, please keep them coming.

Birthdays, Basements and Surgical Procedures, Oh My!!!

So, yesterday was a good day. I woke up with a phone call from my Aunt who calls every year to sing Happy Birthday to me. She woke me up at 7:30 but I was just milking the sleeping since Dean was downstairs with the kids already.

He made me breakfast and then I went for a much needed pedicure. I do so love my pedicures.

When I got back, he informed me that my OB/Gyn's office called. I am scheduled for 8/8 for an Endometrial Ablation (they cryofreeze the endometrium so it goes away....no endometrium=no bleeding every month). It might be TMI, but AF has been very strange. I had the normal post partum deal and then it just never went away. So, for the last 9 1/2 months, it is been pretty much nonstop. They tried me on 3 different kinds of Oral Contraceptives to try to regulate it, but even the "strongest" pill, did not work. The only relief was when they had me double up and take two pills a day. So, now, since we have decided that any more children are out of the question, I am having to EA done.

I had actually asked about a hysterectomy, but being in my mid thirties doesn't make me an ideal candidate. So, we will have the in office procedure and then a couple weeks later, they are putting in a Mirena IUD to have a slow release of progesterone. Eventually AF will not exist at all. That is fine with me. My Mother didn't hit menopause until she was 60 and the thought of AF until then is just INSANE!!!!!!!!

Anyway.....

We spend most of the rest of yesterday cleaning out our basement. Not exactly fun, but it needed to be done. A friend is moving this weekend and was nice enough to rid us of a couple air conditioners, a bed, a TV and TV stand. So, in order to get all that out, we really HAD to clean. We eventually want to turn the basement into a family room or at the minimum, a man cave for Dean.... Nothing but the History Channel, The Military Channel and a kegerator.

We are having a get together tonight. A lot of the same gang we went camping with last month. So I hope the predicted "spotty storms" stay away at least long enough to get a few games of Redneck Horseshoes in.

Feeling Like the WORST Mother in the World

Today was not a good day.

Not even a little bit.

It started out as normal as any other day. The kids got up, I got them dressed, took them downstairs, gave them breakfast and then they played.

I decided that I would take them shopping since our only "upscale market" in the area is closing and everything was going to be 30% off. I had bought some amazing chorizo sausage there a few weeks back and figured that if they had any left, I would buy it. I also figured that 30% baby food is a pretty good deal.

So, we got to the store, did our shopping and headed to see Daddy at work.

So far, so good.....

My parents have a trailer (camping) and I had been doing some investigating for them to find a place to store the trailer. I had called around and found a place and it was just up the road from where the hubby works. So we went.

There were two men working the counter at the camping store. Daniel was being fussy and he was wet, I knew he was wet, but there were not a whole lot of places to change him. I had him in the front seat of the stroller. Melissa had been asleep when I put her in the fully reclined rear seat. (please note...this is where I made my BONEHEAD mistake). I didn't strap her in. It was not a conscious thing...I just didn't do it. She was asleep.

While filling out the rental agreement, Daniel was fussing. So I am trying to keep him entertained, talk to my parents on my cell phone, getting the information about the trailer that I needed for the paperwork. Then I see Melissa rolling over. No big deal.

The very next instant, I see Melissa in the basket UNDER HER SEAT.

Yes!

You read that correctly.

SHE WAS IN THE BASKET UNDER HER SEAT!!!!

And she was screaming.

Somehow, the child slid down at the footrest into the basket.

So now I am FREAKING OUT!!!

I am trying to get her out and her little foot is caught. I tried to lower the basket but her foot wouldn't budge. And she is screaming, and I am FREAKING.

I finally told the one man at the counter to call 911 becuase I couldn't figure out how I was going to free her foot without breaking her leg.

Finally, the older of the two men cam e over to help. He managed to wriggle her foot free.

I grabbed her and pulled her out. She immediately stopped crying. I was shaking so bad.

I was mortified. Actually, I still am.

I am so STUPID.

It all happened so fast.

I vowed that I was getting a side by side stroller because there is no basket to wriggle into.

I feel like the worst mother in the world.

I finally calm down. I am driving home. I realize that it is 12:30 and I haven't had breakfast yet.
So I run through the drive through at Mickey D's. Yeah, not the healthiest choice for lunch but that is another subject for another day. I go around the corner from the ordering board and to the window where you pay. I check the rear view mirror and Daniel's car seat has tipped.

Yeah...when it rains it pours. Seriously, I am not trying to "off" my kids.

So, I reach around and push it back upright, get my food and pull ahead to fix Daniel.

I then remembered that it was my dad who put the car seats back in the car after they kids stayed with them. So, just this once, I am not going to blame myself for improperly installing the car seat. I am going to only blame myself a little bit for not double checking my dad's installation.

What a friggin day!

But it is not the stroller's fault. It is mine. All mine.

Embryo Donation

After much discussion and thought, we have decided to donate our remaining frozen embryos to another couple. We are in the starting process of working with a group that specializes in embryo donation. As much as I loved being pregnant...no really..for all of my complaining about being sore and tired, it really was a great 7 months. I glowed!!! I was nice to people (which I am not all the time....kinda bit*hy at times). I nested. And I would do it all over again....

But...
~Hubby is getting older. ( 16 years older than I am)
~Our house is not terribly large. It is a 3 bedroom and we have no plans to move in the foreseeable future.
~I wasn't able to keep the pregnancy to term and probably should not risk trying it again.
~God blessed us with a son and a daughter. We're not greedy.
~There is another couple who are where we were and are ready to give up.

So, now the decision making process starts. How do you choose? How do you know that you have made the right choice?

This is the information we decided to include on our profile:

We are infertility survivors. We know, all too well, the anguish and heart ached of not being able to conceive naturally. We trusted God and were richly rewarded and blessed with our son Daniel and daughter, Melissa.

My husband comes from the upper midwest and is the oldest of 6 children. He is very conservative and is a US Army veteran. Family and faith are paramount in his life. He is a strong and active man with an incredible work ethic.

I am from the Great Lakes area and the younger of two daughters. My parents are both ordained ministers. Although I had many career opportunities (medical school), I followed my heart and driving desire to be a wife and mother and put all my efforts into a marriage and family. Little did I know the uphill battles I would face with our fertility.

Our babies were born 10 weeks early and spent their first few weeks of life in the NICU. They came home and have been growing, thriving and developing everyday. They are truly miracles. When they were born, they each weighed less than 4 lbs. They were so tiny and yet so perfect. When we look at them now, it is hard to believe that these are the same babies. They are now so big and strong. We are so blessed.

We hope that these little lives, which are already miracles, are born into and raised in love and great faith and that they become the great joy in a loving family's life.

We are trusting God to direct our decision in entrusting these gifts that were given to us. We hope that God grants all of the families waiting for their miracle peace and understanding.

K and D

Anyone have any thoughts???

My To Me From Me Birthday Present

Ok, so my birthday is not until Aug 1.

But...

I found this on etsy...

and just couldn't resist...

My Challenge for Wednesday

I figured I would give it a try...it can't hurt, right?


Teething Biscuit Recipes - Eggless Baby Cereal Cookies
from http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/teethingbiscuits.htm

**Ingredients**
1 cup flour
1 cup dry infant rice cereal with bananas (or other flavored or unflavored infant cereal)
3 tablespoons cooking oil
ice water
**Directions**
Preheat oven 425F Mix flour and cereal. Gradually stir in oil. Mix a little ice water at a time (start with 1/4 cup) until dough begins to form a ball and pull away from the bowl. Roll out to the thickness of a cracker on a floured surface and cut into desired shapes. Bake on an ungreased cookie sheet 10-12 min. or until lightly brown. Cool completely. Store in an airtight container. (you may want to try 1/2 plain and 1/2 flavoured baby cereal as the taste when using full flavoured baby cereal is very strong!)

Atypical Tuesdays With The Teething Twosome

So the hubby took today off. The original plan was to finish painting our bedroom (from horrible pepto bismol pink to a nice taupe), but since it is really nice out, hubby is outside filling cracks in the sidewalk. He just left on his second trip to the Home Depot. This time, he took Melissa. She should get used to that store, since her Daddy goes there every week. I have this sneaky feeling that the bedroom is not going to be finished this week, and honestly, I am fine with that.

Daniel is being a little extra fussy today. His second tooth is about the break through and I really feel bad for him. I am giving him ibuprofen and using the baby oragel but nothing really seems to work.

I seem to be falling apart as well. Over the past month or so, I have had increasing pain in my wrist. I am sure that it is just tendonitis. But, the recommended treatment is Rest, Ice and Compression. I can manage the Ice and the Compression, but it is not like I can just stop picking up the kids (who are HUGE, by the way). So, I have to suck it up.

I also "escaped" this morning to run over and get my hair trimmed. It is getting longer and the ends were really bad and starting to break. So, I had the girl cut a whole inch off. It is hard for me to cut my hair. I still have issues with my hair. I had REALLY bad hair growing up. No, I mean REALLY bad. Kind of a mousy brown shrub on my head. It was like a "white girl fro". And when I was even younger, my mother always kept it short so everyone thought I was a little boy. My hair was wavy but when puberty hit...it got kinky curly...thus the "WGF". I started to let it grow out in 9th grade and have never had it short since then. It has always been at least a "bob". At one point, when Hubby and I got together, it was at the middle of my back but that is about as long as I have ever had it. Hubby loves it when my hair is long but with two grabby, sticky handed babies, it is not practical. So it is a little shorter, but long enough that I can put it up. Now, I just need to figure out what to do with the color (have to cover the greys).

So, the only sound in my house is the boy child chewing on his hand and the TV. It feels weird. Even the dogs are being quiet...

Perhaps I will even get to take a nap......

ANAL RETENTIVE PAIN IN THE A**

So, the babies will be 9 months old on Wednesday. I am so proud of my babies- how they have grown and developed, despite their prematurity- and I would do anything for them.

And this probably shouldn't bother me as much as it does-

But, this weekend, I was told by a friend, whom I will refer to as "M" that when the kids were in the NICU and I am guessing the Step Down Nursery, I was an "anal retentive pain in the a**". This came from a NICU nurse, whom I will call "A" who did not directly care for the kids, but who I knew prior to even getting pregnant. I only saw "A" once then entire time the kids were hospitalized. "A" was so nice to my face and had always been that way. Maybe that is why I was truly shocked when I heard "A's" comment. It takes quite a bit to shock me, but this comment did.

Maybe it is because I heard it from "M" who mentioned it as kind of an off the cuff comment. It really got to me and "M" knows how to get under my skin and push my buttons.

Yes, it is true that I have certain expectations for care for my children. It is also true that I have a medical background and may have a greater understanding of what the real situations are from a medical standpoint. Yes, I can be a pain in the a**. Hubby knows this first hand from dining out with me. I can be a manager's worst nightmare. Perhaps that is why I have always had great success in working in the Customer Service industry. But when it comes the kids...that is not being a pain in the a**...that is being a MOTHER.

Yes, I did speak with the Clinical Coordinator regarding the unannounced changes in feeding times (we had a solid hour commute to get to the hospital and arrived to find the kids had been fed and diapered and we couldn't hold them). I asked that I be notified of any change in their schedule, so that I could adjust my schedule accordingly. This was IGNORED...

I also spoke to her regarding the Breastfeeding Nazi, who made it very clear that if you fed your children anything other than breastmilk, you were poisoning them. She was older and very set in her ways and really was very condescending. Hubby couldn't stand her. I mean, he has 3 daughters from his first marriage. He has done this before. WE are not 16 year old kids with zero experience.

I also requested that no "student" nurses be involved in the care of the babies. I arrived one day to find a student nurse trying to figure out how to put a diaper on for 20 minutes. Practice on a doll, kiddo....not my babies.

The Clinical Coordinator was very understanding and our experience improved greatly. Well, I guess the nurses, being catty bit*hes that they are, were just placating us. So be it.

If the worst thing that anyone can say about me is that I am anal retentive when it comes to the quality of medical care that my children receive, oh friggin' well.

Am I a bit*h? Yeah, probably. Is "A" out of line for even telling "M" anything about our NICU stay? Yeah, I think so. Should "M" keep quiet next time? I hope so.

This has been rattling around my head for 2 days now and frankly, I want to put it to bed, so I had to get it out there.

Patriotic Daniel

Patriotic Melissa

Vacation

Yes, 11 people and a toddler in the woods......
and one toilet....
It was a BLAST!!!

We survived a heavy soaking rainstorm and an encounter with a 400+ lb bear, saw 4 turkeys, several deer, lived like paupers but ate like kings (yes, it is possible for 11 people to eat 30 lbs of ribs and the very next night, eat a full prime rib). We also must have been drinking like kings (since the keg was kicked after a day and a half). It really was a much needed change of scenery.

On Friday, 7/4, Dean and I got up and drove to Camp Ladore (the camp I went to and worked at). It looked a heck of a lot different since the last time I visited a few years ago. Somethings never change, but others change to the point that one can hardly recognize where they are anymore.

Yesterday, I drove to pick up the kids from "Grandma and Grandpa" camp. They (mom and dad) had a blast. We got the kids home and played for a while and then it was off the the bath. They were in bed by 8:30 and slept until 12:30 am. Then after a quick bottle, they were out again. Melissa got up at 5:45 and Daniel an hour later. I am not complaining about only having to get up once in the night. It is a huge improvement....

oh....

and the boy child cut his first tooth....

They are over the river and through the woods tomorrow morning.

Mommy and Daddy may even regain their sanity this weekend.

Thanks to everyone who commented on our little legal issues. The insight is much appreciated.

(Yeah, and just to explain the whole Canada Day thing....my dad is Canadian....and very proud of it. We always celebrated it growing up. The last time Mom was up in the great white north, she bought the cute little outfits that the kids are wearing. REST ASSURED...these kids WILL be in stars and stripes on the 4th... MOMMY AND DADDY WERE BOTH IN THE ARMY, dang it!)

Happy Canada Day!!!

QUESTION! ADVICE NEEDED!!!

ANYONE...PLEASE...

Kind of a strange question, but maybe you know.

The hubby and I are going away for a weekend and my parents will be watching our 8 1/2 month old twins on the other side of the state (we live in the suburbs of Philadelphia and will be in the Pocono Mountains and my parents live an hour north of Pittsburgh). I was going to copy the insurance card for the kids (just in case, God forbid, something happens), but do you have any idea if I need to have any kids of documentation allowing my parents to make medical decisions for the kids in the even that we are unable to be reached. Cell serivce is touch and go in the mountains. The hubby is very concerned as this will be the first time the kids are away from us.

Should we just write a general letter and get it notarized?

What do you think?

Thanks!

The Baby Borrowers

have you seen it yet? Check it out!

I caught a few minutes of it and was actually laughing out loud. Hubby didn't want to watch it. It is reality TV that hits a little too close to home. I was cracking up especially with the little teenage girl who got nauseated when the baby girl vomited all over her highchair. HAHAHHA! Welcome to my world, sister!!! I want to know where my "owner's manual" is!!!

It should certainly help discourage teens from becoming parents. Let me tell you, even in my 30's, having twins has been an eye opening experience. Maybe they should have put this on the air before all those girls in Gloucester MA decided to "get pregnant". I was a stupid teenager. I made a bunch of really galactically stupid choices. Without getting into too much detail, it may have contributed to our infertility. I thought that the "rules" didn't apply to me.

Thank God, things worked out the way they did. In some ways, I wouldn't change a thing. I don't know that I would appreciate the amazing gifts in my life if I didn't have to go through all of the pain and challenge of infertility.

Ok, I am a little behind....

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Random Shots

She was in a very good mood this afternoon

Daniel being laid back

Crazy girl with her lunch on her face

And for my next trick, I will drink juice from a sippy cup.

The Return to Kohls

and the kids were great. Yeah, believe it or not, I had to return 2 or 3 things that I didn't have a chance to try on.

I did some more shopping and just like yesterday, they freaked in the dressing room. I was smart today... I brought bottles and bottle genies with me.

HAHAHAHA on you, kiddie poos! You might have won the battle yesterday, but Mommy won the war today.

Oh, and we got our "stimulus check" in the mail today. Man, would that have come in handy when I was buying my meds and going through all the IUI's and both IVF cycles.

I also finally broke down and put tomatoes on my sandwich. I am the biggest fan of Roma tomatoes and have been seriously jonesing for them. Hey, I had salmonella poisoning once (chicken soft taco from taco bell in 92...and it nearly killed me), if I get it again, at least I'll get some sleep.....

The Mortified Mommy and the Meltdown Multiples

"Ma'am, is there a problem in there?"

"No, they are tired and teething, thank you."

"Are you sure?"

"No, I am poking them with pins and I'll be ripping their toenails and eyelashes out in another minute! Really. They are fine. It is their nap time and they are just being fussy. Really. Everything is fine."

Yeah....

So, out trip to Kohls today was a bit of a nightmare.

They did great. They were complete angels.

Until.

We got into the dressing room so mommy could try on a couple of tops.

Then it happened.

All hell broke loose.

Melissa melted down.

Red faced, breath holding, blood curdling screams. Loud screams. Inconsolable screams. The binky didn't work. Mommy's sunglasses didn't work. Mommy's keys didn't work. Even Mommy's cell phone didn't work. She was having none of it. She just decided that she would meltdown and that was that. And it was nice enough to be one of the fitting rooms that are rather empty so her screams had a really nice echo to them.

Daniel just joined in because Melissa was doing in. We know who the Alpha is now. (HAHAHAHAHA)

I finally relented and just grabbed the shirts and left the fitting room. I walked up to a register with both babies completely freaking out. "Don't you have any help with them?" "Oh yeah, the au pair is off this week.....she and the maid are on a cruise". No, I don't have any friggin' help. Oh yeah, my husband, who works 10 + hours a day. "Don't you have any family?" "Yeah, they are 6 hours away....do you think if I called my mom, she'd come?". Just let me get out of the store so no one else has to go deaf.

Into the parking lot and into the car....and yes, they were asleep before we got out of the lot. Came home, and they slept for another 90 minutes.

Two of the shirts are WAY too low cut, even for me (and I am not exactly a shy person when it comes to cleavage). So, we shall have to return and revisit the fine people at Kohls and maybe be lucky enough to have to stand in line to return the shirts.

postscript...

I made out like a bandit on kids clothes...jeans for $3....levis......I got 12 and 18 month sizes becuase God only knows how big these kids are going to be in the fall.

Too Funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you have to check this out.

I nearly peed my pants.

All the difference in the world

It is amazing what a few hours sleep can do.
I was in bed by 7 pm. I believe I was out before my head hit the pillow.
I woke up twice in the night for the babies but felt great at 6 this morning.
I got up, went to the grocery store, came back, fed the kids, loaded the dishwasher, started some laundry....

Amazing! I feel like a different person.

Yesterday I wanted to run away. A good friend of mine reminded me that Moms don't get to do that and that things could be worse.

Tonight, Daddy has extended "Daddy Duty" as I have to bartend for our monthly "Dance Night" since the other 2 bartenders are out of town. It should be fun. We try to go but this will be different since I will behind the bar rather than sitting at it. It's extra $ so I am not going to complain.

Have to change loads of laundry....feeling very industrious today.....

That's It, I'm Done

yes, I am done.

I got almost 2 whole hours sleep last night combined.

Number of times Mommy got up =12
Number of times Daddy got up = 0

And this is after being sleep deprived for countless nights and only getting a 40 minute nap yesterday. I may have had 8 hours sleep in the last 3 days. If I am lucky. Which I am not.

Screw it.
Yeah, we have no food in the house.
yeah, the kids need formula from Costco.
Yeah, they will be drinking extremely watered down apple juice out of dirty bottles.

Why?

I just give up. I don't have the energy to deal with it today.

Boy, I sure hope Daddy has a good day.....

Daniel and the Atomic Diaper

How can so much poop come out of such a little body.
OMG!!!

On another note...the boy is very chatty. I couldn't help it.

Another Sleepless Night

We put the kids to bed around 8 last night, even though we skipped their bath. They did great for a while and then WAMMO! 1 am rolls around and Daniel has a melt down. So, we put him in bed with us (again). I know that we can't keep doing this because he will get used to it and I will never have another restful night of sleep again.

So, I decided to bathe the kids myself today. Well, actually, Daniel took an atomic dump and got poop everywhere...I mean everywhere...the kid was brown from the nibbies to the knees.... sometimes there aren't enough wipes in the world.....

Keep in mind, it is much easier if I am in the tub with them that traying to lean over the side of the tub and keep them in the little plastic one. Normally, one of us is in the tub with them. Boy, when you try to do it yourself, it is a challenge. They are slippery little suckers!!!!

So I am getting ready to go to work and trying to keep the kids awake so that mayber they will get a nap in later and give Daddy a break. I know that he is tired from work and it is lot for him to walk in the door and take on Daddy Duty, but I do it all day, everyday...

It is much cooler here today and we are finally able to turn off the AC. I mean between diapers, wipes, formula, food and gasoline...the last thing that I need to a huge electric bill....

crazy little monkies

We are 8 Months Old and She Got A Tooth!!!!

Yes, it has been 8 months. I don't know where the time has gone. It seems like it was yesterday when we brought home two tiny little bundles and thought that it would be soooo easy. Boy, were we wrong. Thousands of diaper changes and bottles, hundreds of loads of laundry, hundreds of hours of lost sleep, dozens of bottles of mylicon and tylenol and a surgery later... we know better. They are just changing so much every day. And they are huge! I just tell people that they are good eaters...which they are. They are both in to 12 month clothes, although they will fit in some 9 months stuff. They are both rolling over and over and over. They are both very chatty... lots of ba ba ba ba ba mmmmmm and giggles.

Well, we had a nice weekend around here. Saturday afternoon, we went over to some friends' house and the kids went in the pool with Auntie Jo and Mommy. They really enjoyed it. We had to leave a little early to beat the thunderstorm but had a nice time nonetheless.

Sunday, (Father's Day) Hubby slept in until noon. I am not as good at making breakfast as he is, so I decided that in order to not torture the poor man, I would have him sleep in in lieu of the normal "breakfast in bed". After he got up, he went out and did his favorite thing: work in the yard. It was a really nice day, not too humid. He got a lot done and we decided that we would cook out. We had a nice supper and Uncle Keith and Auntie Jo stopped over.

After everything started to settle down, Dean asked me to look in Melissa's mouth. Guess who is in the process of cutting her first tooth.... Yup! My little girl monster had a "toofer" popping through on the bottom. I tried to take a picture, but she is a wiggle worm.....

It was just nice that she did it on Father's Day and he was the one who found it...but if you would have told me that she would cut a tooth before Daniel, I never would have believed you. He has been teething like C R A Z Y!!!!!! He is constantly drooling and chewing and gnawing.... but the little man is sleeping all night.... Now, if we can just get Miss Melissa to cooperate....

Weathering the storm

So after 4 days of seriously oppressive heat here, we finally broke the heat wave. Around 8 last night, the skies darkened and the winds began. The winds were strong enough to nearly blow away our gazebo, knock off branches and make our power go out for a few minutes. The kids didn't seem to mind the crazy thunder and lightning so we are pretty happy about that. The yard is a bit messy and we have to put the canopy back on the gazebo, but we are safe.

Yesterday, Melissa also took her first dip in our neighbors' pool. She kicked her feet and sat on Aunt Cindy's lap who was floating in an inflatable seat. She was wearing her tankini...camouflage, of course.... she really seemed to enjoy it (even though she wouldn't smile for mommy).

Hey!!!!!!!!

Messy but cute

So, it is like a bazillion degrees outside so, we are hanging out in the house today. Daniel's breakfast is on his shirt and Melissa is wearing a dirty bib, but aren't they getting big?

The kids went to bed around 8:30 last night and woke up three times. I wish I could figure out how we can get them back to sleeping all night because I don't know how much longer I can function on only a few hours sleep a night. Yesterday, the only napped for a total of two hours. One would think that they would be exhausted and want to sleep all night (Lord knows I wanted to), but they didn't. they were both up at 5:45 this morning and have just now gone for a nap (it is nearly noon).

The teething continues... Daniel loves his teething ring and we have also started to give them cool water with apple and grape juice. There seems to be no ill effects and the kids like it.

So, if anyone out there has any ideas or suggestions, we are most open to hearing them....

How hot is it?

It's so hot that even the squirrels are finding shade....
Just took this a minute ago....
I love my camera sometimes.

And the beat goes on...

So the "we're not going to sleep through the night" dance continues. I think it is more Melissa than Daniel. She wakes up between 2 and 3 am and screams. We even tried the "cry it out" method, but that is really a tough one when you have twins sleeping in the same room. Cry it out = 2 babies awake and screaming. hopefully after their teeth erupt, they will go back to the little angels they were before Easter.

They are both rolling over. And over....and over....and over. It is really comical. Melissa is not really crazy about being on her belly for very long, but Daniel just doesn't seem to mind. Sometimes he is so laid back and other times, he is just a crazy man.

The kids will be going to Grandma and Grandpa's house for the 4th of July. It will be our first weekend away from them. Not that I don't love my children, but a weekend away sounds WONDERFUL at this point.

Watching the world go by...

The kids love watching cars. We have had such nice weather, we put them out on the porch last night so they could hang out for a while.

7 1/2 months

Memorial Day Pictures

Kim, Mark, Dean, Kari
Daniel and Auntie Joann

Mommy and Daddy

Memorial Day Weekend

Well, what a weekend!!!

We were a busy bunch this weekend.

It started Thursday with our anniversary. Hubby took the day off and we worked around the house and yard. We went to dinner and our very good friends watched the kids. We then went over to another friends house and visited for a while. The kids sort of behaved and weren't too terrible when they got home considering the teething....and my throat was starting to hurt.

Friday was running around and prepping for our cookout which was on Saturday. We finished cleaning the house and the yard and setting up tables and chairs. And my throat was getting really sore and I was sneezing...

Saturday, we had about 35 people over...yes...35...I must be out of my mind......but we had a great time and the kids got some "face" time with everyone. It went a lot better than I though it would. I will post pictures....when the kids give me a minute....

And then it hit me. I knew it was going to...and it did...and hit me hard. A DREADED COLD...

Sunday, I was MISERABLE!!!!!!!!! Coughing, hacking, sneezing, stuffy, runny, you name it!!!! I was a mess. Daniel has a little bit of it and I am sure the Melissa will end up with it as well. Joy! Teething and a cold.... a double whammy!!!

Monday, we were still recovering from the entire ordeal on Saturday. The weather was just beautiful all weekend. Today, it is raining and not so nice, but that is okay since my only assigned "to do" is laundry.......

So, we survived our first Memorial Day cookout with the kids. Hubby is back to work and I am back to my routine....

3 year Anniversary

Three years ago today, I married my best friend in the whole wide world.
I can't believe how much our lives have changed. I saved the two pieces of paper that we wrote our vows on and last year for our anniversary, my Uncle, who married us, sent us them back. So, here they are......

Our Vows:
I, Kari Lynn, take you , dean Allen, as my husband, my soul mate and the love of my life.

We have already been through a lot together, and I believe that God has been preparing us for this moment and our future together.

Though life may not always be as perfect as this day, I vow to stand beside you. When you need someone to encourage you, I want it to be me. When you need a helping hand, i want it to be mine. When you long for someone to smile as and laugh with, turn to me.

I promise to love you in all your laughter and tears, your comfort and fears, your sickness and health in poverty and wealth.

I know that our love is heaven-sent and I promise to always honor my promise to you, I will be your best friend, your partner and your love, all the days of our lives, come what may.

I, Dean Allen, take you, Kari Lynn to be my wife, my partner and my soul mate.

I want to share my life with you. Together, our love will grow into a bond too strong to break and I know that we will share this amazing gift from God with the world.

I will be here to listen to you, laugh with you and to hold you through the good time and the bad, I want you to always know that I will be by your side.

I pledge my love to you. I will have faith in you and encourage you in all your endeavours. I will work with you as we build our new life together and strive to make every day as special as today.

I will be your best friend, your partner and your love, all the days of our lives, come what may.

Our March of Dimes March For Babies Picture

Came in the mail today. Boy, was it cold that day but we did it...all 5.2 miles.

Sleeplessness

I am not sure what was going on with the kids last night.
We were literally up with them every hour.
I am beyond exhausted and I know that today will be a challenge for hubby too.

Maybe it is the "4 month sleep regression" but even with their adjusted age, they should be passed that. Maybe it is because they are teething. Maybes it is because Grandma, Grandpa and Great-Grandma were here last night. I don't know. We even resorted to our old trick of adding rice cereal to their bottles in the hopes of having them sleep through the night. It seems like it has been more than a month, and it probably has, since I got 8 hours sleep. Even Mother's Day...Hubby got up with the kids in the night, but he doesn't have "Mommy Hearing". I can hear them from everywhere. And in the rare event that I am trying to catch a nap, I immediately wake up. So, when I heard the kids, I woke him up and he got up with them. But, I was still awake.

I think I may be losing it. I am snapping at things that would normally roll right off of my back. I am snapping at Hubby, ALOT! I am going to suffer through today and try to keep the kids up as long as possible so maybe tonight we can all get some sleep.

Mother's Day Present

My hubby has such good taste!!!

Our Little Family on Mother's Day

My First Mother's Day (officially)

Mommy and Melissa
Mommy and Daniel
Mommy and the Monsters
Daddy and the Monsters

Not so little babies anymore

The kids had their 6 month check up yesterday at the pediatrician. We did not see our usual doctor but saw the doctor who had just returned from maternity leave. She also has a daughter named Melissa, so I instantly bonded with her. Nothing against our doctor, but I think I really like this one better.

The latest measurements are:
Daniel
20 lbs, 10 oz (in the 90-95th percentile for full term babies)
27 1/2 inches tall (75th percentile)
17" head circumference (25th percentile)

Melissa
19 lbs, 13 oz (95th percentile)
28 1/4 inches tall (97th percentile)
17 1/2 " head circumference (95th percentile)

They are not even being measured on the preemie charts anymore. With their adjusted age, (-8 weeks) they are ahead of the curve developmentally and we are very happy about this.

They are tired and cranky today because of their 4 shots but I don't think that they are nearly as bad as last time.

So, tomorrow will be my first official Mother's Day. I was pregnant with the twins last year and nearly cried when my mother and my friend Kirstin both sent me Mother's Day cards. This year, mom sent a Mother's Day present but mislabeled the box and sent it to my sister's house. My sister was to forward it to me but I don't know if she ever got around to it.

I am sure that hubby will make me breakfast in bed or something like that. I told him that all I wanted was 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. It really is the simple things in life that make me happy.

I am trying to go through the closets and divest of some of the tons of clothing that I have somehow acquired. I literally have an entire wardrobe of maternity clothing that I will never ever use again. We talked about maybe doing an FET, but he thinks two is enough and that if we tried for just one more, we would end up like Jon and Kate plus Eight. We still have 8 frozen in the lab in NJ. We are paying for storage and really need to make a decision on what we are going to do with them.

My neighbor and I usually have a garage sale in the summer so maybe I will just hold on to the stuff and sell it for a buck a piece or something like that. Or I will end up baggin it and dropping it off at the thrift store....

 

 

 

Blessed?

It is an absolutely beautiful day here today.
I should be happy to be up and out and have the ability to take the twins on a walk.
But I am not.
I am not happy.
Well, not exactly.
I am not as happy as I think I should be.
Everyone, including strangers, tell me how blessed I am when I am out with the twins.
But, they don't know.
They don't have to get up three, four and sometimes five times a night.
They don't understand the frustration of two inconsolable cries.
They don't understand that I feel like I have lost my identity and that at times I feel more like an employee than a mother.
They don't know what it feels like to not have the energy to even feel human.
Sometimes, I just feel so trapped.

it is such a huge undertaking just to get the kids loaded up and into the car, and then fight with the 47 lb double stroller that barely fits in the trunk, try to accomplish the simplest task without being stopped by six or eight strangers who ask if they kids are twins.... um, yes folks, they are twins, no folks, they are not identical- one is in pink and the other is in blue.... do I need to remove their diapers to show you they are not identical...

I hate to admit is, but sometimes I miss my "old life" and wonder if I have what it takes to be a good stay at home mom. I don't even know if what I am feeling is normal. I don't really have anyone to ask. I feel completely isolated.

Even when hubby is home from work, he is preoccupied with one home improvement project or another. And perish the thought of going out and doing something as a family. He is always afraid the kids are going to fuss if we go out. They are 6 1/2 months old...if they fuss, they fuss. People do expect babies to cry from time to time.

I even feel guilty sitting here and blogging because there are literally a million other things that I should be doing.

I never once thought like this when we were still TTC. I just knew that I wanted a baby more than anything. Now, here I am. Twins. Exhausted. Isolated. Lonely. Frustrated.

I have nothing to complain about. There are millions of women out there who would love to have my problems and who can't. I should just count my blessings, right?

I couldn't help but to show them off

They are just getting too cute.......

We Did It!

Yesterday, despite it being very damp and vary cool, Dean and I did the March for Babies. We were able to raise $575 which isn't bad considering it is our first year. The kids seemed to enjoy the ride and there were lots of marchers. We did the entire 5.2 miles pushing the kids. We took turns, of course. I am so glad the practiced last week (5 miles Tuesday, 2.5 Wednesday, 4 Thursday and 3.5 Friday). We got really lucky with the weather, it is miserable out today.

Would write more but Miss Melissa is beckoning me.....

Random Pics of the kids

"I'm a little troublemaker"

"And Mommy thought that taking us for a 3 mile walk would tucker us out!!"

"Oh No You Didn't!"

In a desperate effort to not make a complete fool of myself on Sunday at the March for Babies, the kids and I have been going on walks. Yesterday, we managed to walk for 5 miles. Today, my left knee (which I had surgery on in 2004) was bothering me, so I wrapped it in a neoprene sleeve and we did 3 miles. The weather is just beautiful, not too hot and not too cool for them. I learned today that when you actually remember to bring your ipod along, the walk goes a lot faster. We are fortunate to live about 1/4 mile from a lovely park in Upper Gwynedd and this certainly makes the idea of walking a lot more appealing.

My legs are reminding me that I haven't really exercised in a year. I have to be careful to not overdo it before Sunday.

Poster for March for Babies

One of the things that the March of Dimes has asked all walkers to do is to make a poster with their babies' stories. Well, I am not the most crafty person, but I gave it a shot....

I personally like the tribute to Mastercard....priceless.

Oh, the new stroller arrived today and BARELY fits in the back of the camry. Oh, and did I mention that the stroller weighs 47 friggin pounds......

My chiropractor is going to make a mint off of me.

It is cooler here today otherwise I would have taken the babies for a walk. i will definitely do it tomorrow..... I took them on Saturday and thought I would die. The babytrend stroller with the carseats is like steering a barge. I was wiped out...

But we did end up going on our date Saturday night, and of course, I got happy and overdid it. Dean was nice enough to wake me up by bringing me 4 ibuprofen and a bottle of water. Apparently, your tolerance for alcohol changes after a year of not drinking.....

Me and Daniel

I think we have ourselves an "oudoorsy boy"
He loves being outside!!!!

6 months old...where has the time gone

The T shirt on Melissa says
"Does this Diaper Make My Butt Look Big?"
and Daniel's says
"I Still Live With My Parents"
Grandma and Grandpa have such a great sense of humor....

Daniel showing off what mommy won in the crane machine

Look Ma, No Hands!!!

We are finally having some nice weather here in the burbs. It is nearly 80 outside and it feels wonderful to have the windows open and the kids in their cute little shorts.

Spring has sprung. Our remaining* tulips are up. (We had some budding pre-teen landscape designers dig up our flower box for us when the family came to visit at Christmas. They left us a pile of bulbs that they "found" in the flower box while all the adults were inside) We have 4 tulips. $75 @ costco and we have 4 tulips.

We are having our front porch fixed finally. It has all new decking and a new railing. Hopefully, this weekend, it will have the other two railings up and it will be done.

We are also going on a date. Yes, a date. We have only been out once together since the babies came home and that was February 9th. We are going to Dance Night at the Firehouse and I am really looking forward to it. Hopefully the Hubs won't be too tired. Our next door neighbor is going to sit with the kids and we won't go out until they are asleep.

Not too much else to report. Life is very routine. Very very routine...

Daniel is working on his first tooth and Melissa is not far behind him. We have been trying to give Daniel a bit more tummy time as his flat head has not seemed to resolve itself like the pediatriacian had said.

We had them at the doctor's office on Tuesday and hopefully got their last RSV vaccine. I really don't think that we will do the whole Synagist vaccine next year. The kids are home all the time and not around other kids at all. I really don't think that they will be "at risk" next year.

Daniel is up to 18 lbs 13 oz and Melissa is 17 lbs 13 oz. He has her beat by a whole pound. I can't get over how big they are getting.

They will be 6 months old on Wednesday!!!

Where has the time gone?

We also decided to buy a new stroller for the March for Babies on the 27th. I went over to Babies R Us and looked at the Kolcraft one but it seemed so huge. I am not sure that it would fit in the trunk of either of the cars. So, I ended up buying a Graco online at walmart. I hate to do that sight unseen but....hopefully I won't get burned.

If the weather is nice for the March for Babies, I really want to try to push the kids for the 5 miles. the Baby Trend that we have now is so heavy and cumbersome with the carseats.

Mom and Dad come back from the West Coast tomorrow so I will journey to the airport to pick them up. Daddy will get an extra "daddy duty" this week.

Melissa says...

I'm just a little cute....

Fingers in the mouth

And I am pretty sure Daniel is working on his first tooth....

Make a scrapbook - it's easy!

Six Months Ago

We thought we were just going to the hospital to get checked out.
Boy, were we wrong!!!!
I think my waist was 48" in the end...

Losing it..........

It has been nearly two weeks since my last post. Some days, in my few minutes of free time, I try to think of what I could write about and as of late, we have gotten ourselves into a pretty good routine.

Routine....
up at 6 am, feed, play nap, feed, play, nap, feed, play, nap, feed play, nap, bed.

That's it.
That is my life.

Oh yeah, and washing bottles and doing laundry.

Some days, I will admit, I feel like a prisoner in my own home.

I don't have family here. I don't have a real support system apart from my husband (who works very long hours) and sometimes I feel like I am just going to lose it.

Daniel has been scratching his face. I tried my darnedest to trim his nails yesterday and the little guy wouldn't let me do it. I actually yelled at him. I feel awful about it. So the boy is wearing a sock on his left hand.

Yesterday, Melissa wanted anyone but me to hold her. I was convinced that she hated me. Our friends, Keith and Joann came over and she was all smiles and all kinds of sweet with both of them and with Daddy. Mommy tries to hold her and she FREAKS.


I am tired. Alot. Maybe it is a lack of fresh air, maybe I am just thinking that being a stay at home mom is a heck of a lot harder than I ever imagined it.

When the kids were tiny, it was easy. Feed, change, burp and back to sleep. Now, they will go 5-6 hours where they are wanting to be CONSTANTLY entertained. I am wiped.

We are going to try to journey out to Walmart and Costco today... maybe just getting out of the house with them will help.

Daniel being Daniel

Sick babies...

so now both of our little ones have a cold. Melissa woke me up around midnight with a stuffy nose, poor thing. I called the pediatrician yesterday to ask if there was anything we could give them to help clear their little heads. Nope...too young. All we can do is use saline in their noses and aspirate it out. We can also "push fluids". This is the first time that they are "allowed" to drink water. Not that we haven given them water in the past but now I have the official nod.

Melissa is really enjoying her rice cereal with apples. Mom bought a box for our visit and it is too chunky to add to their "super bottles" that we give them before bed. So, I tried it for her lunch yesterday and she loved it. Daniel will eat anything but Melissa is a little on the picky side.

Daniel is doing better but now the cold seems to have moved into his chest. I fell so bad for the kid. We have his head propped up when he sleeps to help keep his nose clear. He ws wheexing pretty bad last ngiht and I wish I had a nebulizer. The vicks baby bath and rub was the best I could come up with.

Oh, and did I mention that I too, have a cold. Dean never seems to get a cold and to be honest, I am a little jealous. It must be that tough North Dakota stock.

I can't complain too much about the kids. They are 5 months old and have not been sick AT ALL. I am feeling a bit sleep deprived as I got nearly no sleep this weekend and the last two nights I have been up with each of them in the middle of the night. After they finishe their bottles, I am back off to try to get a few more minutes sleep...hopefully, they will let me.

The Weekend

So, we finally got out of here around 1 PM on Friday to drive to Mom and Dad's for the weekend.

We were doing just great. The kids slept until around 4 or so and then we stopped at a rest area on the turnpike to change and feed them. I took Melissa and the diaper bag and Dean took Daniel and the other diaper bag. We got them back in the car and gave them a bottle. Took them out of their car seats, burped them, put them back in the car seats and got back on the road.

We decided that rather than driving all the way to Beaver, we would meet Mom and Dad et al at Primanti Brothers in Cranberry. I have been wanting to try their "Pittsburger" ever since I saw a special on the travel channel a few years ago. By the time we got there, the kids were hungry again. So, I go into the bathroom to fill up bottles with water and add the premixed formula. I get back to the table and sit down only to have Grandma (my Grandma) spill her large iced-tea all over the table. Shhhesh.....

So we have our meal, I love the sandwich...I can't believe I ate the whole thing.....

We are walking out the door and my mother falls in the foyer. Keep in mind, the foyer is not lit and it is now getting dark outside....their mat is not very vi sable and mom must have caught her foot on it. Perhaps, if Primanti Brothers actually turned their lights on (which they did as I was taking a picture of mat and dimly lit foyer...coincidence, I think not!!!) maybe Mom wouldn't have fallen. We got mom up and into the car and I went back into the restaurant to give them Mom's name and also to get corporate information in case mom needed further medical assistance( or decided to pursue the matter).

Never a dull moment with my family...

So, we follow Dad to their house on the curviest road I have ever been on.... great after a huge meal, let me tell you.....

I knew I was getting a cold...so was Daniel. I can't complain, neither of the kids have gotten sick at all...it was bound to happen.... but Daniel was having a hard time breathing through his nose and decided that he wouldn't sleep all night...so I did not sleep all night either. We had a nice day on Saturday. We had an early Easter dinner, Honey Baked Ham.(yum) After dinner, dad dug out some slides and we had an old fashioned slide show and trip down memory lane...

Daniel work up at 2:00 AM and woke his sister up too, which woke my mom up and my dad up, and Aunt Linda up. I made a bottle for Melissa and Mom took Daniel into her room with her. She spent the rest of the night in the recliner with the massager on, keeping his head propped up so we could get some sleep. We never did make it to church yesterday...the kids just took tun going crazy. We left there at 12:40 pm and got home by 7:00 or so.

It was the most exhausting weekend I have had in recent memory.

Here are the kids in their Easter outfits..

and a family picture...

I think I look exhausted.......

One Year Later

A year ago our babies looked like this...and they moved into their new temporary digs.

Today, our babies look like this:


What a difference a year can make.....

Happy Conception Day

A year ago today we had our 2nd egg retrieval and they got 11 eggs to fertilize.
A year ago today, God blessed us with the possibilities of our children.
A year ago today, I was feeling like I might never be called "Mommy".
A year ago today, I never knew that I could love so much or so deeply.

How cute are we?

I might be crazy...

but I decided to try to make my own baby food. I had this revelation that maybe we could save some money if we made it ourselves. Not that I can't afford $.96 a jar at walmart, but most of that cost is for packaging. I went to this site and got some nifty recipes. I had some bananas that I bought on Tuesday that I knew I wouldn't get a chance to eat before we left to go visit Mom and Dad and so I plopped them in the blender with some of my milk and made banana puree. the kids will be having that for lunch...If that goes well, then we will move on and try some of the carrot puree I made and froze in an ice cube tray. I am considering purchasing a kidco baby food mill, but if our trusty blender works, why bother?

I called the hubby at work and asked how he felt about "homemade" baby food and the response I got was "no". No explanation, just "no". I don't get that. It is the same food we eat minus preservatives that I know that Gerber and Beechnut add. He finally relented.

On anther note:

I really believe that Miss Melissa is going through a period of separation anxiety. She has gotten me up in the middle of the night every night since we put her in the new crib. She doesn't just want her binky, she wants human contact. She holds on to my finger until she drifts back to sleep. I think she misses feeling Daniel next to her. I mean, I understand. Other than the time they were separated in the NICU, he has always been right there next to her. Even when he is kicking the crap out of her, it is still contact.

She was watching him very intently yesterday during the baby Einstein DVD viewing and when he fell asleep, she looked over at him and decided to take a nap too. When he got up, she got up. It is all very cute, but Mommy is concerned nonetheless.

And on another note:

We have three dogs. Jake is 8 1/2 years old and is the best behaved dog in the world. He is his Daddy's best friend. As of late, I think he is feeling neglected. He has managed to dig through the diaper bag removing everything including the bottom liner piece. And just this morning, I heard a strange little noise and Jake had decided to go in to the breast pump bag and remove a spare piece and start to chew on it. Not sure what we are going to do about that...

I've got a big day ahead. I have to pack for our trip tomorrow. I have to finish laundry. I have to finish writing out mileage logs for our 2007 taxes since our tax girl is stopping y tomorrow to pick up our paperwork. I have to pump, shower and be at the firehouse by 4 pm. This should be interesting...........

Baby Einstein

Grandma sent the kids a new toy. It is a DVD. They were really into it. Then I played it a second time and they both fell asleep. Of course, it was after sweet potatoes and a bottle, but MOMMY GOT SOME QUIET TIME! They are both crashed out in their bouncy seats. Yes, they are both pink since the first one that Grandma bought didn't work. The company actually sent us a new one. So, now we have 2, pink bouncy seats. Daniel doesn't seem to mind. I am sure he'll hate it when he is 14 and sees pictures, but for now.....

Make a scrapbook - it's easy!

New Digs for Melissa

Well, we finally did it.

We finally broke down and got a new crib.


The kids were just getting too big and starting to kick the crap out of each other.

The lovely people at the American Academy of Pediatrics should be so proud of us now... we have submitted to their will!!! No more "cosleeping".


Daddy put the new crib together last night, with the assistance of Daniel.




This of course means that there is no place for Grandma to sleep when she comes to visit unless she wants to sleep in the living room.

Daniel and Melissa and Dean and I loaded up the kids and headed over to Target with gift cards in hand and bought the Aspen crib for Melissa. It isn't quite the same model, but the color of the wood is really close.We went over to Babies R Us and got a new mattress and mattress cover.

She seemed to enjoy it well enough but I thin that she might miss Daniel a little bit. She woke up me several times between 3:45 and 6 am.

So now, our tiny nursery is the home to two beautiful babies, two cribs, one dressing table and a rocking elephant.

On the feeding front, we tried green beans last night and the kids really enjoyed them. Then since she was acting extras hungry, Melissa also had some bananas. She REALLY enjoyed them.
So, after dinner, and after the bath, and just before the "super bottle" I was able to catch this cute shot... my little family, who ever would have "thunk" it!

Shots of Daniel

Daniel @ 5 months

6:30 AM, Palm Sunday

and it is raining. Yuck. I can't tell you how much that I hate rain.
Maybe it is because of my hair. I have"naturally curly" hair which tends to "naturally frizz" in the rain. Maybe it is because our dogs refuse to do their business in the backyard when it is raining. Maybe it is because we have such poor draining in the driveway that we are bound to end up with muddy feet while putting the car seats in the car. I hate rain and we have had way to much of it this year.

Three of us are up right now. The kids are in the next room on "auto pilot" (boppy + bottle genie = auto pilot). I have yet to make coffee although, I could really use a cup right now. Daniel is dressed and Melissa will be after I burp her. I have learned that if I am just patient, I will have far less laundry to do. You see, Melissa has a tendency to "power belch" and something like the scene from the exorcist happens. Yes, my daughter is Linda Blair.

Anyway, we are all going to dress alike this morning. Right towards the end of the summer, we got a flyer in the mail from Alumni Originals and we had two sweatshirts and two onesis made up with our last name on it. I figured, the kids have worn their onesies just once and should wear them again before they outgrow them. Besides, how cute would we be all dressed the same? OK, stop vomiting.........but yes, I will post pictures.

I must go and burp the littlest exorcist now....

Oh,

and my babies are 5 months old today!!!

another day...

Today has been a pretty difficult one so far. Daniel is the fussiest he has been since he had his hernia surgery. He just seems inconsolable. He doesn't want to be in the swing, or play with the kicky-kicky. He wants to be held, then he doesn't. I keep on checking his mouth for little white bumps (thinking of course, that he might be working on a tooth) but so far nothing. He is drooling a lot more. They were 9 1/2 weeks premature so it might be too early for teeth. I'm stumped.

The kids will be 5 months old tomorrow. I really can't believe it. I don't know where the time has gone. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was driving back and forth to the NICU, complaining about certain nurses and wondering if I would ever be able to handle two babies on my own. Now, it's just something I do.

We will be going to the Palm Sunday breakfast at the Fire House in the morning. I wish that we could have helped out more, but it should be a great success. The kids will at least get so see some of their "aunts" and "uncles".

Just because she's beautiful

BIG kids

So, the babies were weighed at their doctors appointment yesterday.

Melissa is 16 lbs 10 oz

and Daniel is 17lbs 6 oz!!!

We have some little piggies........

Tuesday, yawn...........

They were holding hands...but Mommy couldn't get the camera fast enough. Not the best night we have had. Daniel decided to be a night owl. Then her decided that he wanted to get up at 1:45 this morning. At 3:45 am, Melissa decided that she was hungry and must have told Daniel that "he was hungry" too. So, Mommy is a little sleep deprived this morning. Daddy said that Mommy should try to get some sleep, but the laundry doesn't do itself.

We also will be venturing out to the pediatrician today for another Synagist vaccine (RSV). Oh joy! Can you say "premedicate the kids with Tylenol"? They just just be a barrel of fun tonight...

Daddy is going to leave work a few minutes early and meet us over at the doctor's office to help me. I am very happy about that. They can be a bit of a handful.

First of all, it is $70 each and every time that we go there, whether we see the doctor or not. I don't get that. If it is a visit just for a vaccine and we don't actually get seen by Dr. Sue, then there should be some kind of a discount as far as I am concerned.

Then we get to fully undress the kids to get their weights. Daniel is always nice enough to have a present waiting for the nurse...hahahahahahahahaha. Then we get to wait for the nurses to come in and stab the kids in the thigh. then the screaming, drooling and most times, spit up. Then, we get to load them back into the car seats and take them home. It's not as bad as when they have to get their regular vaccines, but still a challenge.

A day in the life

Everyone who sees me out with the kids ask me how do I do it. I don't know. I just do it. It's instinct. They are my kids, I am their Mommy.... I just do everything twice. I don't know how it would be of we had had only one baby and then had twins afterwards. I would have probably bought a one way ticket to the grin bin, but I am doing it. Somedays, I don't know how, but I am doing it.

Their schedule is always subject to change but goes something like this:

6-7 am: Wake Mommy up. If it is Melissa, she is quiet for at least the first few minutes unless she is really hungry, then look out!!! If it is Daniel, he is ALWAYS hungry and is not very patient. The kids get changed and fed thanks to our bottle genies. They are by far the best purchase we have made. I don't know how I could get through the day without them.

The kids generally go back to sleep until around 10 am. We have some tummy time and play on the kicky-kicky. They love this and we are very glad that Grandma and Grandpa bought it for them.

Around noon, the kids eat again. They are taking a mixture of breast milk and formula and will usually take about 7 oz at each feeding.

We try to keep them up during the afternoon so that by the time that bath time (between 8 and 9 pm) rolls around, they are exhausted. We generally feed them their peas, carrots, squash, sweet potatoes or green beans around 7:30 pm. If it is bath night, they get topped off with a super bottle (a scoop of rice cereal added in). I know that I'm not supposed to do that, but they love it and they sleep all night.

They are really amazing kids. Daniel is such a ham. He has a great smile and is such a happy baby. Melissa is reserved and shy. She smiles, but she can be a little stingy with them. She is our cuddle bug and will hug you tight during nap time.

We are so proud of them. They are both doing great holding their heads up and now grabbing things and putting them in their mouths. It seems that there have been few or no effects due to their prematurity.

We are blessed. We make a lot of messes. The laundry never ends. I would go on vacation but know that I would miss them terribly. But, WE ARE BLESSED.

Visits with Grandma

With Grandma 3/08

With Grandma 12/07

My mother came to help out and visit this weekend.

Here is a comparison of how much bigger the kids are now.

My mother has been a huge help to us in taking care of the kids.

They are more of a handful now. She had a fun time with them Saturday night while

we were at our Tartan Terrors show in Jim Thorpe.

They had her running.

It can be quite an experience when they both get going. You calm one down and the other decides to just go crazy....

At least they sleep through the night.

They are missing their grandmother today.... she flew back to PGH on Southwest (which managed to only be an hour late leaving PHL). We watched the flight on a flight tracking website to make sure that she got there. Grandpa was there to pick her up and get her home safely....

We will see her again at Easter. It will be the first "road trip" for the twins.....should be yet another adventure.....

Double Trouble

Dean and the kids

Dean and the kids
Originally uploaded by kari.vise

Daniel and his Daddy

Daniel and his Daddy
Originally uploaded by kari.vise

My guys were just being so cute yesterday that I had to snap a shot...

The day to day in Babyville

The kids are doing really well. Most nights, they are sleeping straight through. Sometimes, they are awake at 4 or 5 am but after a diaper change and a bottle, they go right back to sleep.

They are finally on regular formula which will be a huge money saver for us. I can get the store brand of enfamil big can for $20 instead of paying $15 for a 12 oz can. They are still getting a mix of formula and breast milk although it seems my supply is starting to dwindle. I am trying to keep myself rested and hydrated and pump every 2-3 hours. We'll have to see how that goes.

Mom and Dad have given us their old car (a 2002 Camry). This will replace our 1995 Jeep Cherokee with 156,000 miles on it. The jeep was on it's last legs and needed to have the entire exhaust system replaced in order to pass inspection. That would have been a $1500 repair bill. We would have done it because $1500 is still cheaper than a new car or a car note to pay every month.

The piles of laundry are daunting. The 15 bottles that need to be washed are ever present. I am managing... somehow...

I just had to run out to the post office to mail some documents to Mom and Dad to get the car thing taken care of. I was hoping that our neighbor could pop over to watch the kids for a minute but she had to run out. So, I loaded the half sleeping kids into their carseats and then the car. It is a sight to behold to see me walking out to the car with both carseats. The kids are 15 lbs and I swear the carseats are 10 each. It's not really a walk, more of something like you would see on one of the "Worlds Strongest men" competitions when they are carrying beer kegs under their arms.

I get to the post office and for half a second considered leaving the kids in the car. Daniel decided that he would not let this happen and started screaming. So, into the baby trend we go. I get inside and fill out the express mail form and get back in line. Daniel is STILL screaming, not just whining...SCREAMING like he is being stuck with needles. Meanwhile, the lobby fills up and I can feel the eyeballs on me. I finish up and try to negotiate my way out of the lobby. Lucky for me, there are still a few nice people in the world who will hold the doors for me. I heard one lady remark that "that's a lot of work for one person". Yes, lady, it is.... and I do it everyday....

Melissa is fussing so I guess that is all I will get to write today.

A year ago

A year ago:

My hair was a different color

I was 20+ lbs heaver

I was heartbroken after a failed IVF

I was giving up on myself

I was not happy with myself or anyone else

I was hard to live with

I never thought we would get pregnant

I was partying too much

I was working full time

We had more money

I was in the hospital with OHSS

Our only egg failed

I stopped believing

After the bath

The very sticky and stinky kids got a much needed bath tonight and looked extra cute....

Their personalities are starting to show as well as lots of smiles, even at 3 in the morning.

I never thought I could love this much...

Babies First Snow

Daniel with Daddy

Mommy and Melissa

Baby Scrubs

4 months old today!

and how they have changed. Our tiny little bundles of joy are now each pushing 15 lbs. It is so hard for me to even imagine my life without these two cuties in it. They are such a blessing (even at 3 in the morning!)

4 months later

They had their 4 month check up yesterday.

Daniel is 23 3/4 tall and weighs in at 14 lbs, 13 oz
Melissa is 24 1/4 tall and weighs the same.

THEY ARE HUGE! They are doing great and have been taken off of their high calorie formula and can now take regular formula and milk mixed together.

We are very happy. I can hardly believe these were the same little people who were in the NICU.

They have some serious HAMHOCKS going on. I can't even put my thumb and index finger around their chunky little thighs. And NO, I did not have a "thing" with the Michelin Man.....

Almost 4 months old....